09 September 2011

Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics

Apropos of nothing:

1. Its not my fault, he kept moving.

2. This might stick a little.

3. I did say clear first.

4. I know where I'm going.

5. It's OK, I'll cut along the seams.

6. The ambulance is clean.

7. It's the flu, not a hangover.

8. The gloves are for your protection.

9. The patient refused the treatment.

10. I am in it for the money


  1. OOh, as a Medic I gotta say that stings a little. Though, not entirely inaccurate.

  2. My favorite, "they insisted they come here even though you're on divert."

  3. #9: PT refused treatment.

    That one is probably the most accurate on your list. Some of the others I'm not really sure where they're coming from.

    To anon: that one is likely the medics telling the truth. Sometimes the patients (or the nursing homes that sent them) strictly request a hospital. Trust me, we don't like being yelled at by nurses who think we don't know what a diversion is. Actually, often the nurses don't, as at least in NYC, a diversion is simply a courtesy, not a requirement.

    Maybe not a lie, but something I've seen other medics do is roll in with a drunk who has a 16 or 14 gauge catheter in his arm, hooked up to a 250 or 500 bag. C'mon, you're not initiated rapid fluid resus on the average drunk, and if you are, you aren't doing it with anything less than a liter bag haha. Some medics (unfortunately) take out their frustrations with drunks via a large bore needle.

    Oh, and "vital vision" on drunks is pretty prevalent too.

  4. Viking Lascar9/25/2011 9:17 PM

    I'm in paramedic school right now and plan to go on to med school after a few years in the field in Baltimore. Just wanted to say that this blog is awesome! Keep it up!


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