19 May 2010

Why Cats Are Not Employed As Doctors

Why Cats Are Not Employed As Doctors
• Valuable minutes lost in surgery as doctor furiously paws at nearby fly.
• While informing patient's family of their loss, doctor suddenly loses interest and walks off.
• In bid to become chief surgeon, doctor scent-marks entire hospital.
• Doctor refuses to respond to own name during code blue.
• Staff grows increasingly alarmed as doctor runs up and down hallway for no apparent reason.
• Sensing colleagues' growing dissatisfaction with his work, doctor curls up against a radiator and goes to sleep.
• Doctor raises hackles and bares teeth whenever new interns are introduced.
• Doctor loses medical license after licking self, instruments clean.

So what have we learned? That cats are best employed in service industries? Certainly. But more importantly, always listen for meows when entering a hospital. The life you save may very well be your own.

(From Francesco Explains it all, but I do not know why)


  1. Rofl, great post, however it actually does sound like a few Dr's I have known or met...

  2. Very funny.

    Besides, I think dogs have a better bed-side manner.


  3. I absolutely love this!!! Cats are interesting creatues, and have been a hot topic lately in my crowd for some reason... In fact, I wrote a little something about them myself: "It's natural to be wary of a cat... of any kind": http://www.workspacewritings.com/2010/04/its-natural-to-be-wary-of-cat-of-any.html

  4. Very funny. I forwarded your link to all my doctor friends.

  5. Sir, I find your article particularly catist.
    Personally I think cats would make great doctors.
    Their aloof nature and ability to hold fleeting and superficial relationships makes them perfect doctors.
    They are obsessive with cleanliness and can react with affirmative and empathetic murmurings at a level way beyond any doctors I work with.
    I think cats should be given a chance. I only hope your disparaging remarks will not act as a setback to the development of a global feline medical community.

  6. Another problem with cats as doctors would be that they'd prescribe catnip for all ailments. :)


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