09 September 2011

Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics

Apropos of nothing:

1. Its not my fault, he kept moving.

2. This might stick a little.

3. I did say clear first.

4. I know where I'm going.

5. It's OK, I'll cut along the seams.

6. The ambulance is clean.

7. It's the flu, not a hangover.

8. The gloves are for your protection.

9. The patient refused the treatment.

10. I am in it for the money


Mazz said...

OOh, as a Medic I gotta say that stings a little. Though, not entirely inaccurate.

Anonymous said...

My favorite, "they insisted they come here even though you're on divert."

NYCMedic said...

#9: PT refused treatment.

That one is probably the most accurate on your list. Some of the others I'm not really sure where they're coming from.

To anon: that one is likely the medics telling the truth. Sometimes the patients (or the nursing homes that sent them) strictly request a hospital. Trust me, we don't like being yelled at by nurses who think we don't know what a diversion is. Actually, often the nurses don't, as at least in NYC, a diversion is simply a courtesy, not a requirement.

Maybe not a lie, but something I've seen other medics do is roll in with a drunk who has a 16 or 14 gauge catheter in his arm, hooked up to a 250 or 500 bag. C'mon, you're not initiated rapid fluid resus on the average drunk, and if you are, you aren't doing it with anything less than a liter bag haha. Some medics (unfortunately) take out their frustrations with drunks via a large bore needle.

Oh, and "vital vision" on drunks is pretty prevalent too.

Viking Lascar said...

I'm in paramedic school right now and plan to go on to med school after a few years in the field in Baltimore. Just wanted to say that this blog is awesome! Keep it up!