13 May 2009

This is not good

I go to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. I come back, and there is a new patient in room three.  There are four police officers in the hall, laughing and having a great time.  "You're gonna love this one, doc!"

Uh Oh.


Updated by popular demand:

Turns out it was a drunken psychotic patient, covered with his own various bodily fluids.  He had been living under a bridge and his hygiene was as poor as you might expect.  He had been picked up for disorderly conduct, and was brought to us for a psych eval.

BUT - and this is key - he had an outstanding FELONY warrant!  So the cops had to take him to jail.  One quick medical screening exam later, the guy is back in the squad car and off to jail.

I made a lot of friends today.  The nurses were delighted that I didn't insist on blood tests, a banana bag and a psych eval in the ED.  The cops were delighted that they didn't have to hang out and guard him for several hours.  He was eminently medically stable for jail (where psych and detox evals are also available).   The nurses were so happy that I didn't do the million-dollar CYA work-up that they went out and bought me Starbucks!


  1. dude, you can't leave us hanging like this, because if there is one group of people whose humor is more morbid than doctor's, its cops.

  2. Agree with Dimitrios. What's the story?

  3. Starbucks SCORE! Now there's an incentive plan. ;o)

  4. The real story is:

    His sodium is really 119, plat count 29, INR 6. His head CT scan may or may not show a subdural, but certainly would after the police beat the shit out of him once he leaves the department.

    His brother is also Larry H. Parker

  5. The way Starbucks stock has been over the past few years, they could almost buy you the company. OTOH, the coffee is expensive.

    The word verification appears to have been written by the nurses for you - frood. The adjective hoopy is implied, I guess. :-)

  6. Anon --

    LOL. It doesn't matter, bc he was stable when I saw him!

    Rogue --

    Frood -- yay! I know where my towel is!

  7. You need more of these kinds of stories!

  8. we had one of those psych cases last night. brought in by the cops and family, cleared medically, and transferred to inpatient psych...we thought we were home free...until 40 mins later we get a call from the psych hospital saying that the water main broke, flooding the facility, and they were sending us the patient back.

    As the drama ensued, we found out they emptied the psych hospital into local ED's. Thank god I work on the other side of town.


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