This is just insane

But well worth the read:

Life in the Fast Lane -- The Mark of the Beast

The man’s eyes were a cold blue deeply set above a bedraggled beard. Scarred knuckles at the ends of tattooed arms hung from a bare torso that bore the stigmata of a lifetime of violence - teeth marks, cigarette burns and various healed gashes and punctures. In another time he might have been seen leaping from a longboat onto frozen foreign sands or gnawing on a shield in a berserker frenzy.