1.) Because I don’t like the idea that we came from apes… despite that humans are categorically defined and classified as apes.Read the rest over at Deviant Art.
2.) Because I’m too stupid and/or lazy to open a fucking book or turn on the Discovery Science Channel.
3.) Because if I can’t immediately understand how something works, then it must be bullshit.
4.) Because I don’t care that literally 99.9% of all biologists accept evolution as the unifying theory of biology.
5.) Because I prefer the theory that a (insert god of choice) went ALLA-KADABRA-ZAM MOTHAH-FUCKAHS!!!
6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the process of speciation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a fucking Tootsie Pop.