23 December 2008

Sophomoric

Riffing on SandnSurf's bad joke:

How do you hide a dollar from a radiologist?

Pin it to the patient.

How do you hide a dollar from a surgeon?

Put it in a textbook.

How do you hide a dollar from an internist?

Put it under a surgical dressing.

How do you hide a dollar from a plastic surgeon?

Ah, that's a trick question: there is no way to hide a dollar from a plastic surgeon!

OK, so who can tell me how you would hide a dollar from an ER doc?

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

leave it in a patient's medical records?

Anonymous said...

Put it under his/her pillow?

Eric, AKA The Pragmatic Caregiver said...

fold it neatly and, um, place it a finger's depth inside an impacted patient? Everybody knows ER docs won't fiddle around in there...

Graham said...

Radiologist: Stupid ER doctor, don't you know it's on the patient?

Internist: Stupid ER doctor, don't you know it's under the surgical dressing?

etc.

My favorite one in the series, but it's so so so so mean:

How do you hide a $100 bill from a neurosurgeon?

Tape it to his child's forehead.

Anonymous said...

Give it to the patient and tell him that it's vitally important that the ER doc have this specific dollar to properly diagnose the patient.

alexandralynch said...

Give it to a female with fibromyalgia presenting with acute pain as the complaint and see if they will hear her out before throwing some Vicodin at her and discharging her.

Next time one of us breaks something we'll splint and treat it at home.

ER's Mom said...

Hide it in a vagina.

Anonymous said...

That's another trick question. You don't need to hide it. He's never seen one, he doesn't know what it is!

scalpel said...

Stuff it in a necktie.

Tom B said...

I would send it straight to the cath lab and bypass the ER doc completely.

TDB said...

Send it by Medicare

Surgeon in my dreams said...

Roll it up inside a tampon?

ndenunz said...

Tape it to the medication list.

ArkieRN said...

Attach it to a compression stocking machine.

Anonymous said...

give it to the homeless drunk in the waiting room. -whitecap nurse

Dr. Val said...

Put it in the patient's prosthetic limb, or orthosis of any kind.

cynic said...

I think scalpel wins this one.

Anonymous said...

@cynic

agreed. that's too funny!

Beth said...

That's easy, put it inside the drunk guy's sock.

red rabbit said...

Put in the old chart of course!

tracy said...

How do you hide a dollar from a psychiatrist?

Matlatzinca said...

No, no, no. Pins show up on x-ray. You have to tape it to a patient to hide it from a radiologist.

As to the ER doc - for once I agree with Scalpel.

Anonymous said...

tape it to the very important disability form the patient really needs you to complete please doctor!

-clerk who has been waiting for 5 hrs said...

offer it in exchange for completed discharge orders!

sandnsurf said...

G'day
Original post by sandnsurf has changed due to domain change...
New link at: http://lifeinthefastlane.com/2008/12/top-8-bedside-health-search-engines-2008

Thanks for any help in changing link

Mike