Riffing on SandnSurf's bad joke:
How do you hide a dollar from a radiologist?
Pin it to the patient.
How do you hide a dollar from a surgeon?
Put it in a textbook.
How do you hide a dollar from an internist?
Put it under a surgical dressing.
How do you hide a dollar from a plastic surgeon?
Ah, that's a trick question: there is no way to hide a dollar from a plastic surgeon!
OK, so who can tell me how you would hide a dollar from an ER doc?
23 December 2008
Sophomoric
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leave it in a patient's medical records?
ReplyDeletePut it under his/her pillow?
ReplyDeletefold it neatly and, um, place it a finger's depth inside an impacted patient? Everybody knows ER docs won't fiddle around in there...
ReplyDeleteRadiologist: Stupid ER doctor, don't you know it's on the patient?
ReplyDeleteInternist: Stupid ER doctor, don't you know it's under the surgical dressing?
etc.
My favorite one in the series, but it's so so so so mean:
How do you hide a $100 bill from a neurosurgeon?
Tape it to his child's forehead.
Give it to the patient and tell him that it's vitally important that the ER doc have this specific dollar to properly diagnose the patient.
ReplyDeleteGive it to a female with fibromyalgia presenting with acute pain as the complaint and see if they will hear her out before throwing some Vicodin at her and discharging her.
ReplyDeleteNext time one of us breaks something we'll splint and treat it at home.
Hide it in a vagina.
ReplyDeleteThat's another trick question. You don't need to hide it. He's never seen one, he doesn't know what it is!
ReplyDeleteStuff it in a necktie.
ReplyDeleteI would send it straight to the cath lab and bypass the ER doc completely.
ReplyDeleteSend it by Medicare
ReplyDeleteRoll it up inside a tampon?
ReplyDeleteTape it to the medication list.
ReplyDeleteAttach it to a compression stocking machine.
ReplyDeletegive it to the homeless drunk in the waiting room. -whitecap nurse
ReplyDeletePut it in the patient's prosthetic limb, or orthosis of any kind.
ReplyDeleteI think scalpel wins this one.
ReplyDelete@cynic
ReplyDeleteagreed. that's too funny!
That's easy, put it inside the drunk guy's sock.
ReplyDeletePut in the old chart of course!
ReplyDeleteHow do you hide a dollar from a psychiatrist?
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no. Pins show up on x-ray. You have to tape it to a patient to hide it from a radiologist.
ReplyDeleteAs to the ER doc - for once I agree with Scalpel.
tape it to the very important disability form the patient really needs you to complete please doctor!
ReplyDeleteoffer it in exchange for completed discharge orders!
ReplyDeleteG'day
ReplyDeleteOriginal post by sandnsurf has changed due to domain change...
New link at: http://lifeinthefastlane.com/2008/12/top-8-bedside-health-search-engines-2008
Thanks for any help in changing link
Mike