17 January 2006

Once again I embarrass myself

I am in Vegas, for a conference, and there's not too much to do here if you don't like to gamble. And I don't like to gamble. For one, I can do math, and I hate to give more money to the casinos when they clearly already have too much of it. And two, I have not had much luck the few times I have gambled. But most of all, I just don't find it to be a lot of fun, even when with friends and family and drinking, even less when I am bitter, sober, and alone.

So I decided to treat myself to nice food while I am here.

I went to The Picasso at the Bellagio, a really nice French-Mediterranean place with $75 Million in original Picasso artworks decorating the place. Yeah, that kind of place. The food was as exquisite as you might expect, and since I was flying solo, I spent a bit of time chatting with the waiter and quizzing him on the unfamiliar food items.

"What's this?"
"This is foie gras mousse on brioche."
"And the bit on top?" I asked, indicating a clear jello-like blob on top.
"Muscat gelato with proscuitto."
"Oh. And what is muscat gelato?"
"It's a sweet dessert wine made into a jelly."
"Of course."
----next course----
"So what is this, then?"
"Crusted Sea Bass with a saffron sauce."
"And these white things?" I asked, pointing to some round dollops of uncertain origin.
"Cauliflower mouslin."
"Aha."
----next course----
"Fallow deer with a port wine reduction."
"Sounds good. And what is this?" I asked, indicating a small oblong orange thing.
"That, sir, is a carrot," he replies without a trace of condescension.
"I see."

No more questions.

7 comments:

Matt Dick said...

I am quite liking the "poor boy gets an education in high culture" series. Please keep them coming.

shadowfax said...

Oh, on no account should you presume I am getting any sort of education. To quote Calvin, "Live and don't learn, that's my motto." I suspect that if I went to nice restuarants every day for a year i would still wind up doing or saying somthing stupid/inappropriate each time. Which is really no different from my everyday life, but in a really nice, formal setting, the faux pas is more obvious and the mortification more acute.

Cool Hand Luke said...

Here, here. Keep them coming. I'm enjoying these and this one in particular gave me a nice little chuckle.

liza Yore said...

This is what happens when I let him out by himself

liza Yore said...

This is what happens when I let him out by himself

Anonymous said...

smooth. real smooth.

-Siobhan

buy viagra said...

Excellent post and I think you're running an important blog as a freelance writer and this is an important effort but it'd be nice if you can attach some pictures about your conference, because there are to many people interested in this point. 32jj